How To Overcome Fear

How to Overcome Fear in your Business, in Life and Everything

Fear! The one compelling thing that stands between you and your dreams.

It can keep you from doing something that could ultimately make you succeed. Let’s talk about fear for a second, because I really, truly believe in my experience that the number one thing that holds people back from achieving what they want to achieve in their business and in their life is a fear of whatever.

Understanding that fear, understanding what it is, why it is, and developing what successful people do, it’s not that they don’t have fear. Successful people still have the same apprehensions, fears, and as one of my favorite books called The War of Art, describes it as resistance to doing the things that we know we need to do in order to achieve our goals.
The only thing to fear is fear itself.

For most of us in this industry, in network marketing, it often starts with a fear of taking those steps, of talking to people, of opening the door, of doing lives on social media or whatever it is you’re doing to attract people to you, of taking those steps. That often can manifest itself in a fear of leadership, a fear of responsibility that comes from having those people looking to you. Think about it.

If you’re looking to build a team, you know subconsciously or maybe consciously that ultimately you’re going to have people looking at you for help. They’re looking at you for leadership. That can be a scary proposition for a lot of us. Let me share a couple quick concepts with you.

First of all, this is in The War of Art and one of my buddies online was actually talking about. The thing that you’re fearing the most right now, the thing that you’re feeling the most resistance about doing right now in your business is probably the number one thing you are supposed to be doing. Not just for your business, but for you. It’s often the thing that we are called to do, the biggest challenge or resistance for us to actually get ourselves to do.

The one thing that stands in your way, is exactly that – your fear of failure shouldn’t be greater than your desire for success.

Don’t hibernate… ACTIVATE!

Let me explain this to you. This is going to be especially helpful for those of you who maybe have been involved in your business for a little while and have been kind of just sitting on the side-lines, in stasis, or in hibernation. Because here’s what we do.

Networkers who are still in their business who haven’t taken action to overcome their fear of the unknown or more like their fear of failure, the fear of resistance and that don’t take action with the things that they need to do. Here’s what happens. You develop a cycle of not taking action, and the more that you do that, the more you think about what you should be doing, the bigger the monster gets. Procrastination is like a disease that manifests itself in the most important part of you, your mind.

You become so focussed on your fear of what might go wrong and get so side-tracked by doing all the wrong things that you don’t see the bigger picture that is right in front of you. And that is when you should take action that is the exact time when you should get up and do something about that thing that you’ve wanted to do and have been afraid to do. Always remember that there are only two answers when it comes to a question, yes and no. Don’t be so focused on the NO that you miss the 20 000 yesses that may be staring at you.

Divide and conquer

Think of it this way. Personally, I hate heights. It’s one of my things. I constantly put myself in situations to overcome that fear. I go on crazy rides, the crazier the better. In Vegas, they put me on the top of the … What is it? The top of the building there. One of the casinos there where they got the ride that shoots you straight up in the air and then drops you but you’re on top of a building so you’re way up in the air. I did that a couple years ago. I was absolutely mortified the entire time. It’s an exercise I do for myself. I’m not sure it’s helped me overcome the fear of heights yet, but it’s a reminder for me to face those challenges.

And that’s why you should divide and conquer, divide your pros and cons – list them, go over them, DON’T over think them. Once you’ve listed them it’s time to tackle them, face those fears – it is time to conquer them.

Here’s what happens. Let’s put yourself in the top of the high dive. If you’re on the top of the high dive and you’re afraid of heights, you get those butterflies. In our house we’ve got a zip line that goes across our pond. We got a big three acre pond and we built a zip line for our friends and team members.

You climb up and it’s about 30 feet up and you’re on a platform and you’re holding on with your hands to the zip line and it zips you clear across the pond and you can drop into the water. It’s a blast. Still to this day, when I get up to the top of that thing, I’ve done it, countless times. When I get to the top of that thing and I’m standing on the edge of it, and I’m 35 feet in the air, and I’m holding on to that grip.

I know I can do this.

There’s no question in my mind. I’ve done it a bunch of times. But once I’m out there, the fear is gone. It’s just me and the zip line, then I take the plunge and it is exhilarating. The thrill fills you and when you get to the end you know you’ve achieved something, you’ve overcome what you were most afraid of. And guess what, even though you had butterflies and were afraid – you still took the leap that most people never would.

As soon as you do it, as soon as you let go, as soon as you jump, as soon as you take the action, as soon as you’re in motion, the fear is gone. Think about it. The fear is gone. That feeling of fear is gone because now you’re doing it. Once I’m out there, I’m up in the air, I’m above the water, and I’m doing back flips off this thing, the whole nine yards. No problem.

Still to this day, when I’m on that platform, before I jump and let go, I still have that feeling of fear. The same is true for your business. The same is true for the prospects you know you need to call, the people on your list that you haven’t reached out to because you’re not sure how they’re going to react. Whatever the next step is in your business that you need to do.

Take the leap

I’m actually facing something right now where it’s another big step in our business. It’s something I want to do for our team and for our growth that I’ve been resisting. To me that’s a sign. This is a habit that we have to develop as business owners, as successful people, this is what you develop. When you feel that resistance, or that hesitancy, to do something, you know it’s the thing you should be doing. It’s developing that habit of saying, “Now is the time to jump.” Because the longer I stand on this platform, the bigger that fear monster’s going to get. The harder it’s going to get to just push off and let go. The more you’re going to have to overcome that feeling.

It’s something I want to do for our team and for our growth that I’ve been resisting. To me that’s a sign. This is a habit that we have to develop as business owners, as successful people, this is what you develop. When you feel that resistance, or that hesitancy, to do something, you know it’s the thing you should be doing. It’s developing that habit of saying, “Now is the time to jump.” Because the longer I stand on this platform, the bigger that fear monster’s going to get. The harder it’s going to get to just push off and let go. The more you’re going to have to overcome that feeling.

Now, with that said, something I want to share. A reality about this fear thing. When it comes to business, in what we’re doing, what most of that fear is, is one of two things and it’s really the same thing. It’s a fear of failure and a fear of what others will think. It’s a fear of how others are going to respond to you.

It’s a fear of rejection.

It’s a fear of judgment.

We’ve talked about this before. It all boils down to the same thing and that is an emotional attachment to the opinion of others. If there’s one muscle that you need to work out, that you need to exercise in anything, in life through just success in this business, is getting over that emotional attachment to the opinion of others. It’s your life.

It’s your dream. It’s your business. It’s your success. It’s your family. It’s your lifestyle you’re fighting for. What somebody else thinks about that is irrelevant.

Resistance is futile

I can say this all day, but fear is the only thing standing between you and your goal.

I have gotten to a point where I don’t need to be. I’m not suggesting that you start getting aggressive with people to defend this emotional thing, because I did that at one time honestly. I don’t recommend it. I got to the point where I was like. On my way of pushing through that fear of other’s opinions, I was pretty much closer to tell them to stick it. I don’t recommend that. That’s a phase I went through.

Ultimately, I’ve come to a point to where I can smile and say, “Hey, that’s cool.” I truly do not care. The reason I’ve gotten to that point is because of facing that resistance, facing that fear, facing that judgment over and over and over and over and over again, to a point to where I developed a tolerance to it almost. To a point to where I’ve developed where you get thicker skin. Callous isn’t the right word because that sounds like a word used in a way of, “He’s callous.” Like he’s insensitive. That’s not the point. You develop a little bit thicker skin. It doesn’t affect you the same way it might be affecting you now.

Do we still feel that sometimes? Of course, it’s human nature. You get to a point to where it does get easier. By you taking action, by you knowing you’re doing what you need to do, by you knowing that you jumped off of the zip line, you knowing that you had the courage to do that, you can allow yourself to get a little swagger.

You can allow yourself to get a little pride in yourself that you know you’re doing things that the average person won’t do. Because everybody faces these kinds of fears, and the same people who might criticize you or think that your business is stupid, or not be supportive of you, or those things that you’re fearing. Those same people, they’re facing the same issues in their life, the same fears in their life, and maybe they’re overcoming some of them but, in my experience, somebody who criticizes somebody else who’s trying to achieve greatness and improve their life and criticizes that person, is secretly a fan of that person. Is secretly jealous of that person because they don’t have the guts to do what that person’s doing.

They can make themselves feel better about it by criticizing them. Interesting right? It is the basics of psychology, make someone feel bad so that you can feel better. Don’t follow in their footsteps, that’s what I think.

Confidence is Key

Let yourself have a little swagger, a little confidence. The little victory today might be you making that one phone call that you’ve been afraid to make for months. If you pick up that phone today and make that call, you should be thrilled, regardless of the outcome of the call. Do not be attached to the outcome, be attached to the activity.

Allow yourself to have a little bit of swagger because you took the activity. Let that build your confidence and then continue. You have to continue day after day, after day. That’s what builds the resistance. Be like a rhino. You’re getting that thicker skin. You’re charging forward. That’s exactly right.

Be like a rhino. You’re getting that thicker skin. You’re charging forward. That’s exactly right.

You’re getting that thicker skin. You’re charging forward. That’s exactly right.

This right here is 90%, in my experience, 90% of why people do not have more success in their businesses. It’s 90% of it. It’s a head game that we play. It’s because we’re worried we’ve been trained up our whole lives to worry about what somebody else thinks. We’re supposed to sit in our chairs in school, and we’re supposed to listen to the teacher, and only speak when spoken to, and raise our hand, and follow all the rules. We’re raised up to be a cog in a wheel.

As soon as we step outside of that, we don’t know what to do sometimes. That’s a scary proposition. The rest of the world sometimes doesn’t know how to respond to us. We just have to smile and wave boys. Smile and wave and move on through. That’s what’s going to help you do this.

One last thing about resistance. I’m going to tell a little story about myself. Here’s another analogy for this. When I was a kid, mathematics was not my strong suit. I did not like algebra. I did not like math. Early on, I developed a self-image that I wasn’t good at math. That’s a whole nother story really to get into. We all have these things. Somewhere in our lives, in our childhood, or whatever experiences that we’ve had. I don’t know. Maybe I was in class and I wasn’t good with my flashcards and kids were making fun of me because I had the wrong answers.

I had convinced myself that I wasn’t good at math. Then later, I don’t know, it was like eighth grade, freshman year, sophomore year, somewhere in there. We were getting into algebra two and man it was a mountain for me. It was challenging, it was difficult. A lot of it was in my own head. I know that looking back. What I would do, my mother told me about this because I had actually forgotten it. I actually denied it for a long time. Then I started thinking going and realized that I actually did do that.

Maybe I was in class and I wasn’t good with my flashcards and kids were making fun of me because I had the wrong answers. I had convinced myself that I wasn’t good at math. Then later, I don’t know, it was like eighth grade, freshman year, sophomore year, somewhere in there. We were getting into algebra two and man it was a mountain for me. It was challenging, it was difficult. A lot of it was in my own head. I know that looking back. What I would do, my mother told me about this because I had actually forgotten it. I actually denied it for a long time. Then I started thinking going and realized that I actually did do that.

When I was a kid, mathematics was not my strong suit. I did not like algebra. I did not like math. Early on, I developed a self-image that I wasn’t good at math. That’s a whole nother story really to get into. We all have these things. Somewhere in our lives, in our childhood, or whatever experiences that we’ve had. I don’t know. Maybe I was in class and I wasn’t good with my flashcards and kids were making fun of me because I had the wrong answers. I had convinced myself that I wasn’t good at math. Then later, I don’t know, it was like eighth grade, freshman year, sophomore year, somewhere in there. We were getting into algebra two and man it was a mountain for me. It was challenging, it was difficult. A lot of it was in my own head. I know that looking back.

What I would do, my mother told me about this because I had actually forgotten it. I actually denied it for a long time. Then I started thinking and realized that I actually did do that.

Challenges build character

I would sit there with my homework and my mom would try to help me with my algebra homework. I would sit there with my homework and I was struggling with it and I was convinced I wasn’t good at it. I would get so bottled up, so resistant to doing it, believing I wasn’t good at it. Believing that I hated it. Believing that I didn’t want to do it.

Making that decision, I would sit there for hours because my mom would make me. God bless my mother. She’d say, “Sit your butt down and get it done. Get it done.” I would sit there and I would sit there for hours staring at the page. To the point to where the letters and numbers just blended together.

Just would refuse to do it. Fortunately, my mom was a strong enough woman, she’d hold me to that seat and she’d say, “You’re not getting up until it’s done.” Finally, I’d cave in, I’d concentrate, I’d do the work, and I’d get it done. But I would sit there for hours.

My question to you, my friends, is “Are you sitting in front of the algebra homework right now?” That you believe that you’re not good at.

That you believe that you can’t do. That you’ve allowed yourself to be programmed into your own mind that you’re not good at talking to prospects.

That you’re afraid of doing this. These stories that you’re telling yourself. Are you allowing yourself to sit there staring at the page?

Because if you are, realize that it’s not going to get done by itself, and realize what you want, and you want success in this business, it’s a skill set you’re going to have to learn to get over, learn to develop, and you’re going to have to get over that fear, and you’re going to have to take that jump off the zip line.

Once you are going down the zip line, it’s not that bad. Once I was finally doing the work, the algebra work, it wasn’t that bad.

So sit your butt down and take the plunge.

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About the Author Jason

Jason is a 3rd generation network marketer and founder of Network Marketing Accelerator. He and his family are collaboratively responsible for generating a multiple 7-figure income in their network marketing businesses. A coach and mentor to hundreds of successful business owners across multiple verticals, Jason is also a co-founder of OuterBox Solutions, a premier eCommerce Web Design firm.